Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Short Story: True Love

I have to give some credit for this to a friend who suggested an editing change when he read this recently (thanks BK!). This was my first (and, so far, only) attempt at a second person narrative, written almost seven years ago now. It's still working on fixing a few parts today, but I like the concept. 

            Can you see him? Over there, in the first floor apartment. Building number 510 - that one, beside the cafe. That's him. Malcolm Cormer, do you remember? We met two summers ago at some small-town diner, Freddy's I think. He tripped and spilled his drink all over my new skirt, then made it up to me by treating me to dinner. Not the most romantic of introductions, I'll admit, but I fell in love with him right then and there.
            Yes, I know you want to meet him, but not right now. He's probably sleeping. He'll be up soon, though. His work starts in an hour. He was a night shift at the hospital. Yes, he's a doctor, and he's so smart. Graduated top of his class, he told me. You wouldn't believe
            I have a picture of him right here. See, he is cute, isn't he? He has the most wonderful eyes. I look at them and I just melt. Chocolate brown, almond shaped eyes. I never could tell eye shapes, but I looked it up once. Wide-set, almond eyes. I swear I could go on for hours, just about his eyes.
            Engaged? Well, no, and I don't think he's planning on popping the question any time soon. Well of course I'd say yes! If he asked me, that is. It's complicated, you know? He works days, I work nights. We'd need to sort things out before anything could happen.
            There he is, see, he's just woken up! Wait, though, we won't go in yet. I know you want to meet him, but we can't just barge in while he's getting ready! I don't think he'd want visitors while he's changing, do you? Look, let's just wait until he's got his clothes on.
            There, he's coming back. That wasn't too bad, was it? Yes, we can go meet him now. What's that? Nervous? Do I seem nervous? Well, yeah, I guess I am a bit. It's just that he hasn't seen me in a while. You know, I work days, he works nights...
            Where did he go? He must be on his way out. Probably heading out to work early, maybe for an emergency? We'll see him when he gets down. It shouldn't take him too long.
            See, there he is, and he's coming right over. I hope he didn't catch us watching him - wouldn't that be embarrassing? Yeah, he does look a bit angry, doesn't he? Don't worry, I'll deal with it. Malcolm! Over here! Why are you yelling, aren't you happy to see me? No, I'm not going to go, we have a date tonight, I called you three times about it! Please, slow down and stop yelling, we just wanted to see you... Fine, Malcolm, we will leave, but you can't keep putting this off!
            Come with me, let's get out of here, ok? There's a park not far from here where we can go sit. We can talk when we get there. I guess I should explain.
            See, our last date ended... badly, to say the least. We, well, we had a fight and he said some things that he didn't mean, and he - well, he tried to end things, ok? That was nearly eight months, three days, and six hours ago. But I know he didn't mean it. I've been practically counting the minutes until we get back together. See, it was all just a mistake. I'm waiting for him to realize that it was a misunderstanding; he of all people should be able to see that we were meant to be together. We're soul mates, and I can't just let a silly argument get in the way of that, can I? I've barely let him out of my sight since be broke up with me, and you know what? He hasn't been with anyone since. I think that's a good sign, don't you?

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